Being a teenager in 2024 is not easy. Adolescence comes with unique stresses their parents did not face growing up. From the overwhelming pressure to succeed to the grueling schedules that don’t allow for ample rest, relaxation, and unstructured fun, youth mental health is a difficult thing to navigate.
According to the U.S. Surgeon General, 44% of American high school students feel persistently sad or hopeless right now.
For parents, as the world has gotten more complicated, it’s especially challenging to help teens navigate life through these formative years. While they go through many physical, emotional, and mental changes, it makes the parental role more crucial, yet harder than ever before.
“I equate parenting a teenager in today’s world to navigating a ship through a storm. At one moment, it’s smooth sailing. The next thing you know, it’s rough waters and stormy seas. The only thing that feels consistent is that there is turbulence! What parents can do is to keep their support consistent and steady throughout the journey,” commented Dr. Matthew Specht, licensed, child, adolescent, and young adult psychologist in CT and NY.
How can parents take a proactive role in their teen’s mental health and overall well-being?
With summer break kicking off for most teens, now is an opportune time for parents to deepen their connections. With schedules being a little less packed and a bit more flexible, here are some ways parents can get more involved in their teen’s mental health:
Be Present
Teens crave and need independence, but one of the greatest gifts you can give them is your time. Make a genuine effort to be there and present. Put the phones away and engage in quality time with your teen, even if it’s just for just a few minutes to catch up every day.
Create a non-judgemental home environment where open communication is encouraged—In these small moments, trust is built and authentic connections are made.
Do Things Together
Make the time and effort to do things you and your teen enjoy. Whether it’s watching a favorite movie or taking a walk outdoors, teens need proximity to you, even if sometimes it feels like they would rather be elsewhere.
Share regular meals (research shows that family dinners have a positive impact on all members!) and include your teen in the various activities that directly impact the family such as grocery shopping or cooking a meal. Not only will they take active participation in helping the family, but it’s the chance for you to engage in meaningful connection.
Be an Active Listener
Studies show that young people need their parents to be better listeners and more proactive about checking. Approaching with openness and curiosity versus judgment and conclusion-jumping is key to more positive interactions.
If you’re very curious about what’s going on with your teenager, sometimes sitting back and letting them talk can be more effective. When your teen opens up, resist the urge to immediately jump in with solutions or judgments. Allowing them to vent, acknowledging their feelings, and offering empathy with phrases like “That sounds really difficult” or “I’m here for you” can go a long way.
Demonstrate Your Trust in Them
Making decisions and mistakes is all part of growing up! You run the risk of creating a wedge with your teenager if you act like a dictator. Yes, it’s a parent’s job to set the rules, but it’s also important to explain your reason behind them. While pushing the boundaries is natural for teenagers, hearing your thoughtful explanations will make rules seem more reasonable.
Teens want to be taken seriously and are seeking their parents’ trust, so look for ways trust can be built. Ask them to help you with something or offer privileges that show you have faith in them. This trust will boost their confidence and give them the chance to rise to the occasion.
Embrace Mattering
Jennifer Wallace, an award-winning journalist, social commentator, and author of the recent book, Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic – and What We Can Do About It, has spotlighted the concept of mattering and how it’s crucial for our teens. She relays that the root of the mental health struggles our kids feel is an unmet need to “matter” and that what kids need from the adults in the room is not more pressure, but to feel like they matter, and have intrinsic self-worth not contingent upon external achievements.
Reminding your teen that they matter regardless of what they accomplish will contribute greatly to their resilience and self-confidence. It will demonstrate that their worth is not tied to academic, athletic, or social success. It’s especially important to remind them of their mattering if they suffer from ADHD, Anxiety, OCD, or other mental health conditions.
Develop Coping Skills & Resilience
In particularly wealthy areas like Fairfield or Westchester Counties, teens grow up with tremendous opportunity, giving parents the task of instilling resilience when life is, in fact, very privileged.
“As parents, it’s innate to try and protect your child from harm, but one of the biggest mistakes we can make is not preparing them for life’s challenges. Living in an idyllic place like CT, teens must learn the essential skill of coping with and managing the ups and downs of life. Demonstrate how setbacks are growth opportunities and celebrate their resilience, not just their successes,” commented Dr. Specht.
Find Purpose & Meaning by Giving Back
Research shows there is a strong connection between lacking purpose in life and depression and anxiety. While teens may demonstrate self-centered behavior (which is actually age-appropriate!), experts have found that teens’ mental health is positively impacted when they partake in activities that provide purpose and offer a break from self-concerns.
“When we teach our kids how to live a life of purpose, how to contribute meaningfully to others, their drive becomes self-sustaining. Purpose energizes, motivates, and keeps them on track, even when challenges or setbacks inevitably occur,” said Wallace.
Whether it’s volunteering in the community or participating in service closer to home by helping with a younger sibling or older family member, parents can help teens create a “give-back“ mindset, putting the focus on others’ needs versus their own.
“This larger purpose shifts our mindset from one of scarcity and fear to one of abundance, where we see our place in the world as part of a bigger whole,” Wallace continued.
Recognize the Signs
No matter how much time a parent spends with the teen, be mindful of signs that they may be struggling more than usual. While mood swings are common, pay attention to changes in behavior, like withdrawing from friends and activities, a drop in grades, or changes in eating and sleeping patterns. Mood swings are normal, yet prolonged sadness or irritability are not.
Other warning signs could include:
- Notable changes in sleep, weight, eating habits or other everyday patterns
- Loss of interest in usual interests and activities
- Withdrawing more than usual from friends, family and community
- New sets of friends you’ve never met before
- Refusing to communicate
- Obsession with a certain goal, possibly with the belief that if they don’t achieve it, their life will never be the same
- Signs of drug, alcohol, or other substance use
- Signs of self-harm such as cuts, burns, bruises, etc. that your teen tries to hide or can’t explain fully and credibly
If you’re noticing any of these signs, it might be time for deeper conversations or seeking professional help.
Set Boundaries with Technology
The prevalence of social media has impacted the rising anxiety and depression among teens for more than a decade. 95% of youth ages 13–17 report using a social media platform, with more than a third saying they use social media “almost constantly.”
Supporting Your Teen’s Mental Health: An Ongoing Journey
Managing your teen’s mental health is constant and not a one-size-fits-all scenario. One thing remains constant—being present, understanding, and engaged with your teen is foundational to supporting their overall well-being.
Remember, if your teen is struggling, it’s okay to seek outside help. Sometimes, leaning on an outside source is what’s needed to navigate these challenging years and emerge stronger.
Feel free to contact our office if you’re interested in a consultation or learning more about how we can support you and your teen in CT or NY.
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